Uncle Gismo � Science Made Real Simple www.jayarama.us/kd/ug.txt (rev. 2010 Jul 21) REVISON NOTES: 10-07-19 Edited to "xxx" ABBREVIATIONS: "( )" means more work to do. TOC PREFACE 1. Calendars 1.A. What is Time? 1.B. The Daily Grind. 1.C Annual Festival Calendar 1.E Year at a Glance, Decade, Lifetime... 1.F Miscellaneous 2. Tool-box 2.A Tools 2.B Techniques 3. Civil Deadman�s Club 4. Japa Joe 5. Formulas for Mechanics 6. Bachelor Beans ============================================ PREFACE This is a collection of Techniques and Facts from Uncle Gismo, Science Officer for the Anjana Suta Academy, , and President the Academy's Civil Deadman�s Club. It is constantly being edited and a current form is at: www.jayarama.us/kd/ug.txt ============================================ 1. Calendars 1.A. What is Time? Many of the world�s great sages have asked this question -- great poets, great lovers, physicists, prisoners. What is time? The answer is actually infinite but we can give a little illumination, the next few steps, progress on the path for some. St. Augustine commented that time is the simplest thing, until he thought about it. Then he couldn�t understand what it was at all. Show me time. Put it in a box and give me some. You can�t do it. But for the Bhagavata and the genuine Bible knower it is a simple answer. Canto Three, Lord Kapila-deva, to His mother, �I keep myself within as the Paramatma (Holy Spirit) and externally I am perceived as the Time Factor�. When we turn inward in contemplation and exaltation, we find the Holy Spirit always trying to offer us advice, how to leave this world of vanities and return to the plane of charity. However, when we look externally at the sensuous world to dominate it, then we see time. Time to manipulate for my ends, but ultimately time who conquers me. Bhagavad Gita: At the end I come to all as death. Got it? Not really the appropriate Time to say more. We�ll sprinkle our sauce with it from Time to Time. Read on! 1.B. The Daily Grind. The mills of God they grind slow, but they grind exceedingly fine, High School English Reader. sankhya purvaka nama gana nartana parau, kalav a sanikrtau, Sad Goswami Astaka, Srinivasa Acharya The Six Goswamis, namely Sri Rupa, Sri Sanantana, Sri Jiva, Sri Gopala Bhatta and Sri Sri Raghunatha Bhatta and Raghunatha Das Goswamis, were always busy in chanting the Holy Names, singing and dancing. In this way they divided up their valuable time and always remained meek and humble, absorbed in the ocean of emotional love of Radha and Krsna. Go to sleep around 9:57PM and wake up to your alarm clock at 1:47AM. Of course, you could also keep an alarm Cock named Buddy and have the same effect - Cock a Doodle Do. Before you go to sleep program your mind with the mandate: Don�t touch the clock until the light is on. Put the clock across the room by the light switch. After the light's on drink the full glass of water that you put next to the light switch, go to the bathroom, wash your face and hands, and then sit up and chant. Hare Krsna, Hare Rama, (Jaya Radhe, Jaya Siam -- Jaya Krsna, Bala-Ram) O.K. Some more details on this later, but basically tough-it-out like a soldier and get your 16-rounds done before mangala-arati. At mangala-arati chant excellently for Radha and Krsna. More about this later in Japa Joe. Learn what the words to the Gurv-astakam mean and sing and dance with your hands over your head, even if you don�t feel like it. Hari bol! Hari bol! Yogi Bear takes a stroll! After Mangala-arati, with flower, incense, lamps, sit and chant more Japa and write and read and do consultations et al. When there is enough light read Srimad Bhagavatam attend the Lord and Mistress�s Court. O.K. Daily grind finished. Take some Prasadam, remnants of vegetarian foods offered to the Lord, wash-and-dry your hands-and-mouth, stick some books in you bag and hit the street. Can be a cyber-street, Wall-street, a diet diner for robust ladies called Stri-Eat or whatever, but participate in the book distribution of Srila A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, Founder Acharya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness, ISKCON, according to your nature and ability. Jaya Radhe, Shyama, Jaya Sri Vrndavana Dhama. + + + + Come back to the Temple dog-tired. Chuck your stuff. Take a shower, take a little Prasada, and go to the evening arati and class. You�ll feel just grand and then with boiling milk with sugar bubbling your head read the Krsna book, fall asleep and dream of Krsna. What is the problem? We go�n� back to Godhead (Godhood) 1.C Annual Festival Calendar O.K. We adjust things for Festival days, Which is about 75% of the year, more or less. Memorize verses. Record special prayers and songs. Make Power point shows. Publish them. 4.1.14 � Siva-ratri - The night of Lord Siva. Woooooo o o! Spooky night??? CC.1.7.157, SB.4.24.16 1.E Year at a Glance, Decade, Lifetime... �So you can make plans for serving Krsna, but better just to chant Hare Krsna�, Krita-karma Das citing Srila Prabhupada. Calendars are great. Use them for Krsna and Radha's servicr, to see Them dance and help Their burgeoning romance. 1.F Miscellaneous Time is the external manifestation of the Param-atma. Don�t �kill time�. If you have got Time, chant Hare Krsna! ! ! We live in a Bubble of Time and Space created by our mind and intelligence. Your Bubble should have some Calendars. Don't try to occupy, control or understand all time and space, just keep your Bubble arranged by always chanting Hare Krsna / Rama! ============================================ 2. Tool Box 2.A Tools ~Sanskrita Fonts - Sca Gaudy, Balarama, Sanskrit Palantino are font files in our JayaRama.US archives. If you open your C or D Drive and look in the Microsoft folders you�ll find a �Fonts� folder. If you put these two files there then you can use them to format the Roman Transliterations of any Sanskrit in your document. ~TEA KETTLE: Uncle Gismo is looking for a supplier for a 6-cup, stainless steel, electric tea kettle. Please tell us if you find a source. ~SWEET: Canakya Pandita says that fruit is sweet, sugar cane is sweeter, honey is still sweeter and raisins are the sweetest. Amazing. Better than burfi? ~Buddha bag (from old Dhotis). 1 Cubit wide cloth (1 cubit is distance from tip of yourthumb to to your little finger with your hand stretched), middle piece 3 cubits long, lides 7 cubits long. ~Dhoti Uttariya = 4 meters cloth, Top=1/3 Dhoti= 2/3 ~Carry on bag = 9x14x22 2.B Techniques STAYING AWAKE: If you are falling asleep and just in general, press your left nostril closed and breath in a FULL breath through your right nostril. Just see how it completely wakes you up! You will discover many wonderful things if you try this trick for Krsna's service. TRAVEL: When you land, go to the luggage claim area, but don�t stop. Go outside to the curbside pick-up area and you often will find abandon luggage carts and you can save $4 rental fee, LABEL PAINT: Use a little bottle of white-out to write your name on your luggage. WEB PAGES; When the browser looks in you Directory it looks for any file named index.htm. So write one with Micro-soft word. Save it as a Web page file with grafixs etc. You can also write an HTM (HyperTextMark-uplanguage)file with note pad. The Browser will just print the text and execute any commands you put in < >.
= break in the line, a carriage return.

= start and stop a paragraph. This will word-wrap to the size of the window. = bold, = Italic,

,

,

= start heading one format ie. different size letters. ============================================ 3. Civil Deadman�s Club A. A Sanyasis is a Civil Deadman. Then how can he belong to a Club �??? The world is full of Oxy-morons. It is the duty of the Grhastha to offer Big, BIG Prasadam to the Sannyasi and it is the duty of the Sannyasi to lake LITTLE, little. B. There is an essay on Sannyasa and Travel Trailers some where in the Archives called American Bobba. C. Grhasthas meditate on their houses and cars. Sannyasis meditate on their luggage and sandals! ============================================ 4. Japa Joe ( ) Edit the separate article into this file. Do a Google image search for "homunculous". This is what your body looks like to your cerebral cortex. Lots of nerves in the tongue and fingers and lips. So, your tongue and lower jaw etc should move. While traveling chant one mantra or so for each telephone pole, for each person. 1. Look on the Internet for "homunculous". You will find weird images of a little guy with big lips, a big tongue and big fingers. That's Japa Joe. That's how your nerves map onto your cerebral cortex. Lots for the mouth and fingers, no? Not so for a Tiger. Tigers don't have fingers. But, well, humans naturally are stimulated by Japa... Jaw Paw. Get it? The jaw and paw should move, feel. Then your brain will be stim-u-lated and that will attract your materialistic mind. JaW PaW 1. Get up early and get your rounds done. Say it 99 times. Put your alarm-cock (cock-a-doodle-do) across the room by the light switch. Don't be shy. Live where 2AM Japa is cool. Make a clear pathway, and when it goes off stagger across the room in the dark and before you go to bed fix in your Disk Operating System (DOS) that you cannot turn off the alarm until the light is on. Light on. What do you see? 1-glass of water that you put there the night before. What should I do with it? D R I N K I T. The Whole Thing (even if you don't want to). Go to the bath room, wash your hands, feet, mouth etc and sit down and chant HK HR. ( ) You're not tired, you're thirsty. In a little while you will be awake (Unless you ate pizza a 7 o'clack last night (fool)). Just stay a wake sit properly and chant like a soldier. SIP - Sit Properly - Half lotus, Feel the spine vertical. Feel the energy come up. See, you are smiling! Feel the pressure on your gen-i-tals escape and rise up to your brains. -=- "What do I look at?" KRSNA. Externally we see our beads. Each one is different. Learn Their names. Each one a Gopi of special fame. Twist Them, twirl Them, give Then a chance, to with the Holy Names dance. (Feed Them, Dance for Them, take Them around. For sun baths and boat rides. Their gratitude will abound). Sit Properly. See your beads. Chant with meaning: Oh, Hara please pray to Krsnah and Ramah to: a) Engage us in Their service. b) Help us find you and deliver the NOI and take Your full-set order back to the BBT c)... Like a Soldier (said Hansadutta). This is the most essential service (Cc 2.22.113). So give it your best shot. Better to die chanting Hare Krsna. Today is a good day to die. Use all your strength, Intelligence, material resouces to to hear the mantra, understand the mantra, meditate on the mantra and love the mantra. If you work hard from 2AM to 10AM in hearing and chanting, reading and writing, by 10AM your work day is finished. There will be no questionof shortage of money. Management will be a your finger's end. People will respect your preaching, Your health, family life, everything will improve at the maximum possible rate because of this one Yajna, sacriice. GUEAGYRD - SIP - MESS - Most ESsential Servicd. VMP - Do Vraja-mandala-parikrama in your mind with the Japa. I mean you can circumambulate Srila Prabhupada's lotus feet paying obiesances to his toes, pads, nails, ornaments. Become dust and help the rest. Only a Wicked Man trys to finish his rounds quickly. You're not going to finish. 16 rounds is the minimum for the neo-fights but chant more on beads. CHant 24-hours a day (Cc2.22.113) DO Kirtana in your mind while you brush your teeth. Let the Holy Names posses you SOul and tak charge of your fingers as you type. Let go of your sari!!!! SIP - Sit Properly - Put your flute or lota under your Japa arm to keep it up. ISTA DEvata - SOme folks worship Saligram silas, but we worship our Japa Beads, serving Sri Krsna in all kinds of Lilas. Their bead bag is Their Temple. Keep it clean. Get Them the best. We heard from Srila Prabhupada's lips when he was in Berkeley in 1975: Anyone who chants, Sri Krsna-caitanya, Prabhu Nityaananda, Sri Advaita, Gadadhara, Srivasa-adi-gaura-bhakta-vrnda, and follows it with, Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare / Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, has achieved the perfection of life, but if you want to preach then you should probably read my books. (Books accelerate the process). 20 minutes of kirtan, 20-minutes of reading, 20-minutes of japa. hour after hour after hour. Janmastami. Today is a good day to die! (Or 20-minutes of rye-ting instead of Kirtan) =-=-=-= (Piggy - this is a mind dump!) {Monky - You go it!} "Mindworks" by Ernst Poppel he explains that the maximum size of the current moment (for those dudes he tested) was 3-seconds. If you chant 6 minute rounds you are chanting the Maha mantra in 3 seconds. It's a fact. You can get the whole mantra in your consciousness at one time, with no feeling of past our future. (It's an illusion produced by the mode of passion, no?). This is Ikongrafic thinking, as opposed to linear thinking. (Piggy - WHo says!?) {Monkey - Uncle Gismo} (Piggy - Oh.) Then you can directly adjust your attitude, Buddhi. Mantra Japa the Supreme Mental Mysticism. 108 beads = 108 gopis, groups of cows, Upanisads. 4 groups of 25 each in 4 different color gradations + 8 special groups. Moo! Help Govinda control the silly Surabhi cows! Moo! MLH - Move your lips to touch your heart. Chant for your heart, chant for your soul, what about chanting does your stomach know. Focus the Japa on the Lord of your Heart, not your stomach nor gentiles. (Canakhya Pandita - In one's ordinary dealings it's best to look a little crooked. The tall straight trees are the first ones to get cut down. Do you see what I mean?) VMP - As Srila Prabhupada runs in Vraja dhama, are each of his footprints another ISKCON in another universe. Do some devotees stay just behind his steps to illuminate his foot prints. Sprinkle kumkuma on the prominent freatures. Glorify his books after he is gone. Hare Krsna Hare Krsna. Chant like this. Meditate like this in you hart? Kirtaniya Sada Harih... Trnad api... Goal is to chant 24-hours/day and let the the Holy Names play. They will bath Brother Ass. They will sell the books, They will write the wrote. (We're near the end of Monkey's notes) PLANS - Oh the Devil's workshop! Plan to chant. DDA - Don't ever Do Anything ever again. Only chant and see your beads and what ever They take in greed. TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE. HpS advizes his disicples to die as soon as possible. Ignore your wailing babys, old parents, job, school and fly to Vrndavana Dhama. Three things are important in this movement: Chanting, Dancing and Feasting. Chant and Dance until you are tired, then take Prasadam. It's ready. ============================================ 5. Formulas for Mechanics SPQR = Senatus Populus Quid Romana. The Senate and people of Rome greet you. Now bow down to us and die under our taxes. Ho! Ho! FPML = Fruit Plate Meal. Some airlines use this code for a pure fruit plate. Even if the clerk doesn't know this Mantra, When they type it in, often they are surprised to see it works! F=9/5C + 32 Sakabda + 79 = CE Cubit of HpS (Tip of Thumb to Tip of Little Finger of outstretched hand) = 8.5 Inches Elbow = 18.5 Shoulder = 27" (2/3 Meter) 72 points = 1 inch. (Print, Font Size). ============================================ 6. Bachelor Beans A Cook Book for Real Men. Real men eat beans, live in the woods and pray and draw art a lot etc. They may have lots of sisters, but definitely they have lots of fellow Monks to hang out with. Basic diet - no meat, no fish, no eggs, no onion, no garlic, really rarely chocolat. Everything must be offered to Krsna first. You can buy some Garbanza beans at (m)any store(s) in the world. Then wash them good, put them in some water to soak overnight and offer them to Hanuman Murti the following morning with bananas (and some dates or figs if you can get them). Wallah! Breafast. (SOPHISTICATION) ~They have a thin skin. You can split it with your nail and then pop them out. ~You can fry them in a little Ghee (clarified butter) until they crack, along with apple sections. Toss in a little chopped parsley at the end and offer everything to Srila Prabhupada! Some sugar (cloves (cinnamon (nutmeg))). In the ASA Campus Cafeteria Breakfast is at 9AM and lunch is at 3PM. (You can also pack breakfast in your Tiffin, and just have Tea at three). LUNCH Boil two potatoes, one carrot, and some yucca in water. Drain the water as a delightful broth. Chuck the carrot into the blender with a little milk to make a sauce. Also boil some white rice and serve it with chopped Parsley and Celery on the side, along with salt and sugar. (SOPHISTICATED) Serve Avocado, so it can be mixed with the Rice by the the nice. Olive oil. Pumpkin like Squash, or Beets, can be boilded instead of the Yucca. Pasta sometimes. Sunday Feast with devotees once a week. Just live on Fruit and Milk! Hare Krsna! Hare Rama! TRAVEL EATS! ~Pack a few Chick Peas, Garbanzos. ~Pakoras are great for travel - Clean, charged. Southwest airlines has free p-nuts and tomato juice ie a complete meal with Pakoras! All the other guys will be envious when they see what nice Prasadam you Lord has given you. (You can share with them.) ASA KITCHEN A. A BLENDER is the most important item in the Kitchen. YOu can make different Gorilla Glops: 1. One, two or three SWEET oranges, hand full of raisins, some apple juice. Zoooom! Blender on chop and offer it all to Hanuman even before sunrise. 2. Cup of yogurt, a banana or two, handfull of raisins, cup of raw of toasted oats, some Almonds (nuts), some other seasonal fruit. Zoom! Soom!! Offer it to the Monkeys! 3. When Indian ladys are just cooking and offering too many things, you can just put it all in the Blender and make a soup! Yum! Yum! B. You can get hot air Pop-corn machines. No mess, spray it with olive oil and toss it with salt and chopped Parsely. (GEMS) For the Vanaras ~ FULL ROAD FOOD - Crunchy P-nut butter and Bananas (or Apples). ~GORRILA GLOP KING - Can of Borden (or other) Condensed Milk and Nancy's (Whole Milk) Yogurt, or Ice Cream. He gived up all his vows. Or Consensed Milk and Candied Fruit! ~Banana Chips. ~Stir fry old Bananas to Burfi. Or put 'em through the blender and freeze 'em. They are so much like Ice Cream that people can't believe they haven't got Milk. ~Hot milk and KRSNA book (or after everything to settle it all). Boil the milk and stir the foam back in three times and serve with robust sugar as hot as it can be taken. Goes straight to the brain. HOt milk with Sugar contains tryptofane. ~Frozen Orange Juice offered as it is with a spoon! ~Frozen orange juice thawed mixed with Butter Milk. RECIPES MADE SIMPLE ~Cheese cake is Condensed Milk and Cream Cheese. ~60 drops of water = 1 teaspoon, 3 tsps = 1 tbsp, 16 tbsps = 1 cup, 2 cups = 1 pound. ~Pudding 1(1)16 - Corn Starch (SUgar) Milk. 1tsp/1cup. Mix the Corn Starch in a little cold milk first or it makes luMPs. ~Muffins 1/2(2)4 - Sugar(Liquid = 1/4 Butter +3/4 Milk)Grains .and. 3 tsp Baking Powder. {The BP seems way too high?} Mix all the dry ingredients then the wet. Put in Muffin cups and bake at some hot temperature. Can include chopped almonds. ~Halavah 1/2(2)(2)4 Butter(Farina)(Sugar)Water. Gotta confirm this one, but best way is to bake it. First melt the butter in the oven, then put in the Farina, chant one round, stir it, chant a second round, stir it and add the Apple segments and cinnamon, etc. Put the water and Sugar to boil, chant one round, and pour the Water into the Baking pan and stir on low heat into pulls away from the wall of the pan. ~Salty = 1tsp/quart. Sweet = 1/4 ~Subji, Puris, Chutney and Halavah are enough for a feast. + + + PRASADAM You should experience as much happiness when you are cooking and offering it for Krsna, as when you are honoring remnants. Live on just fruit and milk. If we just eat fruit we can never over eat. Raise your child on Fruits and Roots and he will become a great saint! Three things are important in this movement: Chanting, Dancing and Feasting!