www.jayarama.us/archives/trash-6000.txt (rev. 120410) Practice Writings of Monkey and Piggy ANJANA SUTA ACADEMY DONKEY GOES TO HEAVEN [T. S. Eliot has a nice poem about a Hippopotamus who goes to heaven, “By a hundred blessed virgins kissed”.] When Spicky Span and Donkey Sam took to the field of Soccer, None could stand their motion, none became their blocker, On their Jerseys words flow across: “Hare Krsna Das”. Their team, its orbit, blessed by God, The World Cup won with grace. Then they left the earth on flying rugs, To conquer outer-space. ! ISKCON-FOOT-BALL STUDENTS-ALL-CELIBATE ! = = = = “A country man between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats”, Abraham Lincoln. = = = = NOTHING NEW Wensel Roth of England olde, Went forth on wings of fire. He sailed above the country side, The bracken and the briar. Down came his car in Pimbril Rood, The abode of Baron Brahm And there he told him, “Chant Ye Holy Names of Sita, Laksman, Raghupati, Rama!” = = = = SEASONAL GREEN Let the tears fall ‘pon the floor. The Winter’s Snowman is no more. My woman’s body was pink with lust, But now it’s dried and turned to dust. The cannibals feast on kin, But the beasts we eat are also kin to men. You bake your bread from stocks of grain, But grain is souls who fall in rain. Do these fool-man’s lessons reach your ear? Do you now wish to return to the Most Dear? Then set aside your brother’s hide, On just fruit and milk abide. Or even fill your cup with just water clear, And in just one moon’s cycle your Friend is here! [OR IF YOU GIVE UP AIR HE’S HERE IN MINUTES, THREE!] = = = = Uncle Gismo awarded Monkey the title, “PhD”: Doctor of Phalocracia = = = = Monkey awarded U.G. the title of Chairman of the Boored. He did it after the Hepheimers Annual Banquet Lecture that UG delivered that reached one-hundred thousand homes and gardens and was elected as most soporific lecture in memory. Hari Bol! = = = = We (Monkey and Piggy) will start work soon on our greatest epic, “India, the Sixth Sex”. 1. Homosex 2. Polygamy 3. Polyandry 4. Heterosex 5. Celibate life 6. Original sex (Adi-rasa) = = = = Piggy sat on HpSwami’s Kindle reader and there was “crack” sound and now it doesn’t work. U.Gismo says he will try to get it fixed, but seems like Krsna’s plan. Too many robots. = = = = WORLD CLASSICAL CULTURES: India, the Sixth Sex Chapter One – The First Sex My name is Otero Gomez. I am a medical man from Barcelona. You may recognize me from these descriptions but of course this name is just assumed for this story. I had been visiting my Aunt in New York when I boarded the airplane at J.F.K. to fly to Europe and then continue on to India to complete my holiday. We all boarded properly and I was seated in the center-section with a young man on my left and a young woman on my right. The plane got off and I noted that on the young man’s left there was another fellow of similar age dressed like an Oriental monk. Eventually we took up a conversation, myself and the left side passenger, and it turned out that his friend was a Hare Krsna. The monk was headed to India as was I. They had been discussing homo-sexuality so we continued with the same line. He introduced himself as a “queer lawyer”. I could tell by his glance he was evaluating my response to his confession, but it did not strike me as a taboo topic, so we continued to talk. He said, “In the beginning of the universe God created homosexuals and lawyers and all the lawyers ended up in New York and all the queers in San Francisco, because . . . San Francisco had first choice”. I also found it rather funny, having just dealt with several lawyers over the inheritance rights of my Aunt in New York. Actually I tried to keep from laughing too much but his candor was infectious. He explained that his friend, the Hare Krsna on the extreme left, cited from their literature that the sexual appetite of one man for another was not a sane desire at any point during the human life cycle. “So your opinion is that queers are crazy!”, he had proffered? “Yes, but let’s look at the broader perspective”, replied Hare Krishna. “My background is in psychology and one sees reports that rats given unlimited breeding arrangements and ample habitat space are quite normal in the beginning. Yet, as the habitat begins to fill, and overpopulation starts, cannibalism of babies, catatonia and homo-sexual activity also starts. “The renown psychiatrist, or anti-psychiatrist, depending on your politics, R. D. Laing, is often cited as saying, ‘Most insanity is a sane reaction to an insane situation’. Considering the totally unnatural ambience of our modern civilization with urbanization reaching insane levels, it would not be surprising that there is a natural inclination in people that can be stimulated by such overcrowding to then change to non- productive sexual orientation to reduce the over-crowding. “Homosexuality in many cases would seem to be a sane reaction to an insane situation.” Lunch came and we were pleased to see that we were both non-violent eaters: He, Alan Watts, Esquire, vegetarian plate and ourselves, Dr. Otero Gomez, FPML (Fruit Plate Meal). “What is the cure then, if the Hare Krishna consider homosexuality a mental illness”, we asked after lunch. The attorney explained that, “Basically his first suggestion was ‘Celibate Queers’, just become a Monk, be celibate and have satisfying friendship with no sexual content with other monks. We were discussing it and it actually seemed like the classical way. More boys, given proper education until 25-years old, were inclined to enter the monastery than the army. They would live in their extensive Ashrama’s on the edge of the village and enjoy the pleasures of the mind and intellect, grow fruits, vegetable, make cheese, keep a nice medical facility so the village folk would have plenty of inexpensive access to health care and social counseling -- men and women associating as brothers and sister, mothers and sons, far less of this over emphasis on Romeo and Juliet and more emphasis on the concept of girls as mothers.